10000+ funny non nude jokes collection thread [don't miss it]

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FROM : http://muzicbd.blogspot.com













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SOME FUNNY JOKES HERE


$$$$$*-*-*-*Funny Sms/Jokes*-*-*-*-*$$$$$$$


# A Fool boy +A cleaver Girl=Restaurant. A cleaver boy + A Fool Girl = Pregnet. A cleaver Girl + A cleaver boy = Romance. A Fool boy + A Fool Girl = Marriage….
CLICK HERE
What’s you??????



# kid asked “why dad & mom are in their room since 5 hours?

Sister : I don’t know,but why you are loughing?

Kid : Dad told me to gave him Vaseline,but I gave him Favicol glue.


01.
Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”
________________________________________
02.
Rain of summer, snow of winter,
grace of autumn, glory of spring,
May beauty of every season
give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile.
May God suceed u in every exams of ur life.
Good luck & all the best
________________________________________
03.
Good FRIENDS are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
________________________________________
04.
EXams are there,
at the paper u stare;
the answer is nowhere,
which makes u pull ur hair.
The teachers make u glare,
the grades r not fair,
but just like the past 20 yrs,
WE DONT CARE !!
________________________________________
05.
Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall
________________________________________
06.
To be a “Good professional”,
always start to study late for “Exams”.
Because it teaches how to manage “Time”
and tackle “Emergencies”!!
________________________________________
07.
To accomplish great things,
We must not only act,
But also dream,
Not only plan but also believe,
________________________________________
08.
Exams are like Girl friends
- Too many questions
- Difficult to understand
- More explanation is needed
- Result is always fail!
________________________________________
09.
A student grabbed a coin,

Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”

Tail, I watch a movie.

If it stands on the edge I’ll study
________________________________________
10.
It takes 15 trees to
produce the amount
of paper that we
use to write one exam.

join us in promoting the noble
cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS





































Do you know what Pakistan means?
No??? ok let me tell you
P-> Perfect
A->Aimitious
K->Kool
I->Islamic
S->Super
T->Talented
A->Able
N->Nation



FROM: http://muzicbd.blogspot.com





$$$$$*-*-*-*Funny Sms/Jokes*-*-*-*-*$$$$$$$

visite…..
http://muzicbd.blogspot.com












































________________________________________
11.
You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always...
________________________________________
12.
True love is like a pillowU could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW
________________________________________
13.
Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life,
success before work,
& divorce before marriage.
but the Best part is
Friend comes before relatives
________________________________________
14.
A true Friend
is not like
',",'Rain',",'
Which Rained & left away.
A true friend is like
~_~AIR_~_~
Symptoms silient but always around u

Take Care alot
________________________________________
15.
May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty
________________________________________
16.
Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects
________________________________________
17.
Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don't worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.
________________________________________
18.
Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot For Ever
________________________________________
19.
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.
________________________________________
20.
GALILEO:
great mind
EINSTEIN:
genius mind
NEWTON:
extraordinary mind
BILL GATES
brilliant mind
ME:
master mind
YOU:
oh!
never mind
________________________________________
21.
I have a confession to make
ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u
every night I see u in my dreams
and find myself shouting
GHOST GHOST !!!
________________________________________
22.
Some times small
things in life
hurt a lot.....
If u don't agree
with me....
Then >>>>
Try to sit
on a Common Pin !!
________________________________________
23.
To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a heart to have a heart i need hapines and to have hapiness i need u
________________________________________
24.
Wrote your name on the sands.....It got washed away,i wrote your name in air....It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart...I got heart attack!!!
________________________________________
25.
Your attention please
Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work...
________________________________________
26.
Hey listen......
Two people were asking
Me about you,
I give them ur address
And cell no,
They will b visiting u soon,
Their names r joy n happiness.
________________________________________
27.
Let me
draw ur
face!
Dont
MOVE!
Nearly
finished
OK
Done!
Wanna have
a look?
.,|!|,.
( o)(o)
( ,)
________________________________________
28.
Height of fashion?
Dhoti wid zip.
Height of secrecy?
Blank visiting card.
Height of stupidity?
Looking thru a keyhole of glass door.
Height of honesty?
Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket.
Height of de-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
Height of timewasting?
U reading the whole msg.
________________________________________
29.
Friendship is the rainbow between
2 hearts
sharing of 7 colors.
1.LOVE
2.SADNESS
3.HAPPINESS
4.TRUST
5.FAITH
6.SECRET
7.CARE
Take Care n Have a nice day:-)
________________________________________
30.
A 992 i
n0279q biquT2
2m2 pni992
.2iHT 9>IiI
(use mirror to read)
pls dnt erase!
its really interesting
________________________________________
31.
This iz crime story
5 frndz lived in a room
Namely
MAD
BRAIN
FOOL
NOBODY
SOMEBODY
1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
At that time BRAIN was in bathroom,
MAD called police.
MAD:Is it police station?
Police:Yes,wht iz the matter?
MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY.
Police:R u mad?
MAD:Yes,i"m MAD.
Police:Dnt u've BRAIN.
MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..
Police:U FOOL...
MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs
________________________________________
32.
It takes 15 trees 2 produce d amount of paper dat we use 2 write in 1 exam.join us in promoting d noble coz of saving treez.....say NO 2 exams:-)
________________________________________
33.
I
miss
"STARS"
sTARs think i m serious
bUt i m joking!
I
miss
"MOON"
m00n thinks i m serious
bUt im joking!
I
miss
"U"
U think i m joking
but i m serious!
________________________________________
34.
Medicines and friendship
cure our problems.
The only difference is that,
Friendship don't have an expiry date.
________________________________________
35.
Today is Donald Duck's birthday ....
So wish him by sending this sms to every cartoon you know.
Just like I did by sending this sms to you...
________________________________________
36.
Roses r red violets r blue.
Monkeys like u should kept in a zoo Don't get angry because u will find me there too. Not in a cage but laughing at you
________________________________________
37.
Dear customer,
U r not using ur SmS service properly.Ur sim will be deactivated soon.To avoid this,urgently reply with a cute SmS to the sender.
Sndr's watng?
________________________________________
38.
3 monkeys escaped from zoo!
Ist watching T.V. 2nd plays soccer n 3rd is...
Not u yaar ! 3rd is eating banana.y u r always think u r a monkey
________________________________________
39.
I'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL
________________________________________
40.
Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me.
It was the sweetest thing that ever could be.
It was a fantasy, a dream come true
it was the day I met you.
________________________________________
41.
Love is like a cloud...
love is like a dream...
love is 1 word and everything in between...
love is a fairytale come true...
Coz I found love when I found U.
________________________________________
42.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I was born beautiful,
but what the hell happened to you?
________________________________________
43.
Girls are like phones,
we like to be held and talked too,
but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
________________________________________
45.
We will now upgrade your brain,
please wait....
Searching....
searching...
still searching....
sorry,
NO BRAIN found...!
________________________________________
46.
Roses r red, violets r blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are u.
But the roses r wilting, the violets r dead,
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head!
________________________________________
47.
This sms can only be read by someone SMART,
try again,
again,
maybe you are..
just not smart??
one more time.
hey don't force it ugly!!!
________________________________________
48.
Last night I wanted to send you a msg,
But all I could write was,
“noh ss!w !”.
It didn’t make mush sense
Until I read it upside down...
________________________________________
49.
I'd love to ask how old you are,
but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
________________________________________
50.
Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blanks with YES or NO.
1.______I don’t have Brain.…
2.______I don’t have Sense.…
3.______I am Stupid....
________________________________________
51.
A physiological study has proved that
all the fools, donkeys, monkeys
used their thumbs to read the messages
Don’t change your finger know its too late.
________________________________________
52.
How to keep an idiot entertained
*press down*
…………………………………
How to keep an idiot entertained
*press up*
________________________________________
53.
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forget but how U forgive,
Not how U listen but how U Understand,
Not what U see but how U feel,
and not how U Let Go but how U hold on!!!
________________________________________
54.
MEANS OF WIFE?
WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever
________________________________________
55.
A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW..
Its Sweeter when its TRUE
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.
________________________________________
56.
Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills,
and kills by his bills.
________________________________________
57.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense............??
Tell you later........
________________________________________
58.
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...
Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain
________________________________________
59.
A million words would not bring you back,
I know, because I've tried.
Neither would a million tears.
I know, because I've cried.
________________________________________
60.
Hey friend remember that without stupidity
there can be no wisdom and
without ugliness there can be no beauty.
so the world needs YOU after all!
________________________________________
70.
Minds are like Parachutes.
They work best when open
________________________________________
80.
If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put U and I together
________________________________________
81
Aim for the stars.
But first, aim for their bodyguards
________________________________________
82.MEANING OF ALGEBRA?
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction
________________________________________
83.
Why were males created before females?
Because you always need a rough draft before the final copy
________________________________________
84.
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog,
to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog,
for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ...
Now read without the word dog.
________________________________________
85.
All day I thought of you....
I was at the zoo.
________________________________________
86.
CNN News.
Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
________________________________________
87.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
________________________________________
88.
Hi there, I'm a human being!
What are you?
________________________________________
89.
Brains aren't everything.
In fact in your case they're nothing
________________________________________
90.
I heard someone whisper your name,
but when I turned around to see who it was,
I notice I was alone,
then I realize it was my heart
telling me that I miss you.
________________________________________
91.
My eyes are hurting coz I can't see U,
My arms are empty coz I can't hold U,
My lips are cold coz I can't kiss U
but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!
________________________________________
92.
I need you to know our friendship means a lot -
If you cry then I cry,
if you laugh then I laugh..
if you jump out the window
I look down then....I laugh again
________________________________________
93.
True friends warm the heart,
make you laugh, smile...
yes, you are a true friend.
________________________________________
94.
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
________________________________________
95.
Always draw a circle around the ones you love,
never draw a heart because hearts can be broken,
but circles are never ending.
________________________________________
96.
Memories last forever, they simply never die,
true friends stay together - they NEVER say good-bye.
________________________________________
97.
God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested
________________________________________
98.
I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends.
Each day I tell those Angels,
you are my best of friends.
________________________________________
99.
Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.
________________________________________
100.
Without humor, life sucks
Without Love, Life seems hopeless.
But without a friend like you,
life is nearly impossible.
________________________________________
101.
If you need advice, text me...
if you need a friend, call me ...
if you need me, come to me...
if you need money........
SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
________________________________________
102.
It takes a minute to have a crush,
an hour to like someone,
and a day to love someone,
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
________________________________________
103.
If you can't change your mind,
are you sure you still have one?
________________________________________
104.
Marriage is a three ring circus:
an engagement ring,
a wedding ring,
and suffering
________________________________________
105.
A successful man is one who makes more money
than his wife can spend.
________________________________________
106.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women
________________________________________
107.
What's the quietest place in the world?
The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
________________________________________
108.
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message