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A few cricket Jokes for you:







1. When Gavaskar finds out that there has been released, a movie, in
Australia called "Gavaskar", he is very happy. He plans to watch it and
gets a ticket for Australia at once.
With great difficulty he manages to get a ticket and very happily he
goes to see the movie. But when he comes out of the cinema he is very
angry!

He goes straight to the director of the movie and says, "What do you
mean by this? You named your movie 'Gavaskar', but didn't show anything
about me in it!"
The director of the movie laughs and says, "So now you understand the
problem? You people too made a movie called 'Border', but did you show
anything about Allan Border in it?"

2. The captain of a team says to the Umpire, "My players want to know
if there is a penalty for thinking." The Umpire says, "No." The captain
says, "Well we think you're an asshole, then."

3. Jones had taken his wife to a cricket match. She sat through the
first innings although plainly bored. In the second innings a batsman
gave a tremendous swipe and knocked the ball out of the ground. 'Thank
goodness they got rid of it,' she sighed. 'Now we can all go home.'

4. The two rival cricketers were talking.
'The local team wants me to play for them very badly.'

'Well, you're just the man for the job.'

5. At the interval, everybody rushed to the bar, where local publican
had thoughtfully provided a case of light ale. Unfortunately, the ale
was off and halfway through the second innings, everyone was so ill
that they abandoned the match. It was a case of bad light stopping
play.

6. In the 1970s, two dedicated Yorkshiremen were at the match. One
discovered that he'd left his wallet at home and friend offered to go
back for it. He returned pale and shaken.
'I've got bad news for thee, Bob. Your wife s run off and left thee, and your house 'as burned to the ground!'

'I've got worse news for thee, lad. Boycott's out.'

7. A Yorkshireman had emigrated to America, but still used to receive
news from home by mail. One day, he got the following telegram: 'Regret
father died this morning STOP early hours. Funeral Wednesday STOP
Yorkshire two hundred and one for six STOP Boycott not out ninety six.'

8. The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG): Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody!!!

9. What Cricketer's Name Stand For:

Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any
Result/ Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
Azharuddin - Almost Zaheer-like His Artistry, Rivetting Umpteen Devoted Doting Indian Nationals
Vishy - Vodka Is Sweet, He Yells
Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours Keeps A Record
Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble Attackers
Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really Accurately
Shastri - Shall His Achievements Still Truly Remain Interred?
Srinath - Simply Ravishing Incutters, Not A Ten-wicket Haul
Kumble - Killer Universal, Makes Batsmen Leave Embarassed
Sidhu - Shall I Drop Him Unfairly?
Mongia - Many Of Nayan's Gatherings Instigate Admiration
Raman - Remember, All Madrasis Are Nervous
Amol - Another Mumbai-ite Overly Lauded?
Muzumdar - Mediocre Underachiever Zealously Undertakes Many Drives And Run-outs

10. The cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited
his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her.

At the crease, he turned to the wicket-keeper and said 'I'm anxious to
do well and really hit this ball. That's my wife's mother over there.'

'Don't be silly,' said the wicket-keeper. 'You'll never hit her at two hundred yards.

সরকারের কী মাথা খারাপ হয়ে গেল ?







সরকারের কী মাথা খারাপ হয়ে গেল ?




গ্রাম থেকে আসা এক লোক ঢাকার মহাখালী ফ্লাই ওভার দেখে তার এক বন্ধুকে বলল, আচ্ছা, সরকারের কী মাথা খারাপ হয়ে গেল ?
বন্ধুঃ কেন সরকারের মাথা খারাপ হতে যাবে ?
ভদ্রলোকঃ আমাদের কুড়ি গ্রামে অনেক খাল / নদী আছে এবং আমরা অনেক কস্ট করে ঐ
সব খাল / নদী পারাপার হই, অথচ, সরকার ঐখানে ব্রীজ না করে এখানে শু্কনো
রাস্তার উপর ব্রীজ দিয়ে রাখলো!